thus making me awesome and them whores
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
