It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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