is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
