So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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