when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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