I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
