cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
