when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
