I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
