evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
