Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
my liver is dry heaving
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dear god my vagina.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
