Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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