She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
