On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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