it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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