How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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