I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
