Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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