I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
