Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
