There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
