His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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