i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
