Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
