I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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