I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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