I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
