My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
