I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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