Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
