The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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