my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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