My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
