you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
