just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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