They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
