Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
