I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have post one night stand depression
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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