why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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