can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
