He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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