I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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