Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
