just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
