I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
