addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
