oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
