Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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