Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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