Already got asked if we're dating
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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